YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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