Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
