Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
