I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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