Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
