How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
