Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
