I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
