there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
