we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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