i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
