I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
