Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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