what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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