just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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