The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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