she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
