Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
