thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize