your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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