This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
