He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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