DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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