Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
