The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
