I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
