I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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