Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
