Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
