Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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