you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
