I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
