in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
