why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
