I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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