yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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