bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
