I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
