She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
