her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
not ubering you a puppy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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