Porn is love you can see.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
