Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
