marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
