you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
