did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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