New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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