literally had 100 drinks last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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