It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is my gift to your gina
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize