i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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