it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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