Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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