i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
