I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
