first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
