Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
