So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
