goodnight i made you a song goodbye
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
