Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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