dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
